Our little operation was started by our 5,000 year
old Egyptian brew making (and drinking!) sensation - Blundar
Akmewontmune - in the bustling burg of Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
Blundar realized that while there are many great beers offered
in the world, none gave immortality*. With the backing of local
investor Jeremiah Neutron, Neutron Breweries was incorporated
in July of 2001 and production facilities were completed in January
of 2002.
Many people are now enjoying our fine products and
suprisingly, the most common question we've been asked has been:
"How can I drink lots and
lots of beer without having to take a piss or get drunk?"
Pyramid Brewed Beer®...
..."It goes through
you without going through you"™
Yes, with our specially brewed beer you'll never get
too drunk or too full. Our beers are brewed with our patented
Molecular Organization Realizing Organic Nothingness process
to bypass the normal bodily functions used to process regular
beers. Our brewery uses Blundar's secret Individual Dynamic Insulating
Organics Technique to create beers that go way beyond conventional
offerings...
The second most asked question was:
"How does this immortality
thing work?"
Well, naturally that's a secret and there are certain
conditions that must be followed in order for immortality to
be achieved. However, we like to say, "The proof is in the
Blundar pudding." Blundar is a genuine 5,000 year old Egyptian
and we have the historical evidence to prove it. Well known Christian
Evangelists Jerry Liewell and Rat Pobertson have both attested
to the veracity of Blundar's claims and have even gone on record
as saying, "We wish we'd met Blundar before Jeremiah did."
If that isn't proof enough for you, well then, we're just plain
sorry.
One of our biggest customers
is, in fact, an extraterrestrial currently visiting our fair
planet. Blortnok Gribbiloo hails from a star system 5,000 light
years towards the galactic center and 17,000 light years clockwise
on a sister arm of the Milky Way. Blortnok came all that way
just for our beer!!! Talk about a testimonial.
So hey, we're lean, we're mean, we're here and we make great
beer!
We're Neutron Breweries.
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